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Posted on: June 25, 2008 12:40 am
 

My Dad?...My Son-in-law?

I have actually been through a few places where this may not be that far fetched....However, those spots shall remain nameless to protect the innocent...I thought it was pretty funny though and figured I would share it with everybody.

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"Many years ago when I was 23, I got married to a widow. This widow had a grown up daughter. My father fell in love with her, and soon they got married. This made my Dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. My daughter was my mother too because she was my father's wife! After a few years I became father of a baby boy complicating the matter further. My son became the brother-in-law of my father!"

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"Jerry, Jerry"

Category: General
Posted on: May 2, 2008 10:13 pm
 

Paula Abdul is killing American Idol!

Recently I post a people who suck list...one of the distinguished members of this list was Randy Jackson (American Idol judge).  I will still maintain that Jackson is a pure buffoon, but I think his assholery has been surpassed by Paula Abdul...As my man Puremarble pointed out on an earlier blog "She is terrible and a horror show".

I'm sure anybody who watched American Idol (most of you who have wives) can agree to the fact that Paula's latest debacle clearly answers the suspicions that this beotch is on drugs or drunk!   She actually thought that a contestant (Jason Castro) had performed twice, when in fact he performed once!   She absolutely made a fool of herself and gave speculation to the idea that the show may be somewhat scripted....However, as a fan of the show...I refuse to believe that it could possible be scripted (I'm naive...I know).   I think that it's time the highest rated show on television cuts ties with this blubbering diva, who can't speak in complete sentences, and hires somebody that actually represents the true intelligence of females.

Category: General
Tags: Paula Abdul
 
Posted on: April 24, 2008 12:22 pm
 

Superman Vs. Spider Man...Ultimate Sporting Event

I have recently been asked the question by some youngsters about who would win a fight between the Man of Steel and Spidey...I had no idea how to answer the question...Then I got to thinking about what an event this would be if these two were to hook it up in front of the whole world...the UFC would have nothing on this match...This would be Don King's dream come true...a pay-per-view event of a life time!  Who would win?

So what do you think...who would win a fight between Superman and Spider Man?  Why?

Posted on: April 5, 2008 12:25 pm
 

Good Eatin Joints / Good Cities!

One thing I love about road trips are the good eating joints...not that I'm a fat ass or anything, I just enjoy eating food from different regions of the US...I'm always on the look out for that eating joint that has great food, but isn't nationally known or someplace that is well known that keep people coming back for more.  A few off the top of my head are:

"Olive Branch Catfish Co."  in Olive Branch Mississippi (just south of Memphis)...good fish good eating!

"Interstate BBQ in Memphis Tenn".....best BBQ in the world!

"Pete Place" in Krebbs Oklahoma...great Italian!  Immigrant family from way back does in right in OK!

Can some of y'all help me out please?...I need to be in the know on some of these places!

P.S.  I'm going to give a shout out to Memphis as a place to visit if your looking for a good time...Good food and Good entertainment down on Beal St...(oh yeah "Blue plate Cafe" for breakfast)

Category: General
Posted on: March 26, 2008 3:39 pm
 

Are Basketball Referees Metrosexuals?

I have observed the game of basketball for quite some time now, only to find that the officials are sub par at most levels.  I'm talking High School through the NBA.  Now, I know that some guys do a pretty good job on a nightly basis, but they are few and far between.  From top to bottom nobody knows what is a walk and what is not.  Can a player take three steps?  Did the player really pick up his pivot foot before dribbling?  Can a player pivot out of a jump stop?  It seems that referees take many liberties with the interpretations of a walk, depending on who is in control of the ball.  What about defensive position?  This year, I actually saw an official give a charge to an offensive player when the defender was in the air try to block his shot.   How can this be?   Well, I have a pretty good idea.  Many calls in basketball made by officials are for effect.  Think about it.  It is sexy to call a walk when nobody else sees it.  It is sexy to call a charge and have the whole crowd respond to a forceful gesture.  I actually know I guy who makes his charge calls while hoping one foot and patting the back of his head and then punches the air in front of him.  Now, let me ask you this.  If the charge call is ambiguous, which way do you think this guy is going to call it?  That is what leads me to ask the question: Are basketball refs metrosexuals?

Let me elaborate.  I have noticed that a certain kind of male character gravitates toward the profession or part time profession of officiating basketball.  I'm talking about guys who do this on a weekly basis, in front of large crowds, not necessarily the ref down at the YMCA.  If you will notice, most referees appear on the floor before a basketball game and look like they have recently showered and are ready for a night on the town.  Their hair is rarely out of place, shirts neatly tucked in with no signs of wrinkles, and shoes look like they were just bought at the local Athletes Foot.  Have you ever noticed how some referees glide or prance gracefully up and down the floor?  It's almost comical.  And, I guarantee you every ref has premeditated mechanics (or how they signal fouls).  I truly believe that a majority of basketball officials belong to the modern stereotype of "metrosexual."

Metrosexual defined:

metrosexual (met.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. An urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle. —metrosexuality n. 

I believe the reason that basketball officiating is in the state it is in, because many of these guys show up not to officiate, but to be seen.  It is a look at me profession.  How many other professions can you get booed one second an then make a crowd erupt in cheers the next.  This is why you see so many over-dramatic motions when signaling a foul or possession of a ball.  It's not about managing and maintaining the game, its about being in the spot light.  I think that basketball attracts more these types of officials because of its up close and personal style.  You always know what a basketball referee looks like, because you are right on top of the action, or the camera is so close.  Other sports have their share of showboats as well, but basketball is by far the worst and is the worst officiated sport I might add.

What do you think?

 

Posted on: March 13, 2008 3:15 pm
 

OKman's People Who Suck List!

Here is a short list of people who I believe...well....basically SUCK!  Now there are many more people out there who suck, but I thought I would start off with these five just for the heck of it.  I'm sure there is someone out there who I will be offending, but oh...what the hell.

LEE CORSO....failed football coach turned college football analyst, proves week in and week out the reason his a$$ got fired from Indiana...Corso has become nothing more than a glorified mascot for ESPN's game day and has time and time again been portrayed by his employer as the Village Idiot!...which is pretty much dead on...Kudos to ESPN for seeing the error of there ways and exploiting this moron...but shame on them for ever putting him on the air.

RANDY JACKSON... What the hell was Fox and American Idol thinking giving this inarticulate moron a forum to express his opinion on other people.  He has become so predictable in what he says, I can basically tell what is coming out of his mouth before he even says it...here are some samples of his banter..."yo yo so check this out."..."yeah, yeah, dawg that was hot!"...."it wasn't good for me"...."started off a little so so"...."it was a little pitchy."...anyway he is supposed to be an expert offering constructive criticism, instead he has become an expert in destroying human intelligence.

DARRYL ROYAL...This guy is the definition of the ultimate traitor...unfortunately he was successful...which basically is the reason he sucks...let me tell you something, if you turn your back on a university and have the audacity to coach at its arch rival, at least have the common courtesy to suck at what you do...people will not hate you as much.

ROGER CLEMENS...This guy thinks that everybody in the USA is stupid...he thinks people love him so much, he can offer up some BS lies and we will all buy it...Why can't he just say "hey..I did it, I wanted to remain at the top of my game and took some shizz!"...he reminds me of a child who can't admit they are wrong...this guy obviously didn't learn from Pete Rose, who lied to America for years and basically lost all credibility...even when he did fess up, we had been lied to for so long it didn't matter.  You suck really bad Roger!

BRITANNY SPEARS...Brit...News Flash: You are no longer an adolescent teenager who everybody thinks is cute...you are a disgusting skank who lost custody of you kids to Keven F-ing Federline...are you kidding me....F-ing K Fed...you have hit more that rock bottom.  You are officially lower than whale dung...Here is a thought. Quit boozing and popping pills, go get a make over, drop about 20 lbs and start singing again!  It's not to late to keep from becoming the biggest celebrity joke of all time...but time is running out. 

Fell free to add to my People Who Suck list...or add to my rants from the above list.

 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com